The Complexities Of Picking Up In Bars and Nightclubs

When you head out to bars and clubs, many things could potentially happen. You might dance, have a few drinks and in many cases, you might meet some one you think is interesting. Clubs have a funny way of clouding your judgment; you misinterpret things people say because the music is loud, you might accidentally think someone is hot because of dim lighting and you might have a conversation and give someone your number without reflecting on your actions.

Giving your number to someone is one of those things you either do or don’t. At first you might think the person seems lovely, interesting, and sweet, that they are someone you’d like to get to know a little better and that they’d make a great friend. Say, for example, you decide giving that person your number is a good idea. You meet up a few days after for a casual drink. While catching up with this person, you find your initial impressions were correct. You find the person lovely Brewery Bellingha and someone who would make a great friend. That’s the thing though; you want friendship with them; friendship and nothing more.

Difficulty springs up when you are pretty sure they want to be somewhat more than mates. What do you do then? Do you be honest with them and say right out that a friendship is all you’re looking for? Do you go on a few more dates with the possibility you’ll change your opinion and figure out this person is the love of your life? Are you leading them on by continuing to spend time with them without specifying what kind of relationship you want?

Generally, I’d say everyone deserves a chance. They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but on the other hand, what happened to following your gut feeling? First impressions count for a lot in my opinion. There was a reason you agreed to give the person your number in the first place so that is a great start. As for the promise of anything further, you don’t owe anyone anything more.

Meeting people is a huge reason behind why many go out to bars and clubs. Heck, it’s a huge part of life! Getting to know different people and spending time with loads of diverse mates is fun. Without offending or hurting anyone’s feelings and before things go too far, its important to establish trust and openness in any good friendship and that includes ones with people you meet in public social settings. A major part of why we’re so afraid of telling people who ask us out that we don’t feel an attraction to them is fear. We’re scared they’ll turn around and say they were in fact, never romantically interested in us, that they won’t want to be mates or that they’ll get hurt and angry. My personal view is that if you take the bull by its horns and nip the difficult situation in the but early on, the person has no reason to be angry. If they tell you they were never interested in you as more than a friend, make a joke about it and move on to bigger and better things. If by chance they don’t want to be mates, who cares. Yes, it’s sad, but in the end it’s their loss.


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